Darth Vader Kitties

Today Ace, Lev and one of Ace's buddies are playing... and I quote "Hot lava, Darth Vader Kitties."  I find this especially surprising as they have seen neither hot lava or Star Wars in their short lives.  I think it basically means you are a cat with a light saber that cannot touch the floor.  Where do they come up with this stuff?

The Christmas Joker

For Ace's 5th birthday party this last October we had a Batman party.  I have to admit I kind of went overboard with the plans and at the end of the activities I convinced my mom to dress up like the Joker and come to trap the kids in the "bat cave."  Lev, my little guy, was seriously scared of her, and he even knew who she was.  He has talked frequently about "the green Joker" ever since.  I think I seriously traumatized some kids - especially Lev.  My mom is quite the actress.

In December, for the Branch Christmas party, my mom told the story of How the Grinch Stole Christmas as part of the program.  We had friends dress up and act out the story.  Again, a green villain was made real for Lev.  The association with Grandma was just too much for him and The Joker and The Grinch became one.

So one of my favorite Christmas memories from the last few months is Lev telling me how "The Joker" was going to come down our chimney and steal all our Christmas presents.  He was pretty scared.  I tried to suppress a giggle and sympathize.

Got Me

Today I panicked.  I had just finished buckling Lev in his car seat and slammed the door shut before getting ready to hop in the driver seat.  Immediately I hear my just turned three year old start wailing in agony.  I was sure I had crushed his fingers in the car door.  I flew at the door trying to yank it open as quickly as possible to see what damage I had done to my poor baby.  As soon as the door is open, the crying stops.  I ask quickly, "Are you OK?  Are you hurt?"

He looks at me and answers with a big grin on his face, "Just kidding!"

You got me good, kid.

Presidential

At his school Ace has been learning about Martin Luther King Jr. in preparation for MLK day next week.  He was telling me that Martin Luther King wanted freedom and how he was the President.


I corrected him, "No, he was an important leader, but he was never the President."

Ace, with a puzzled look on his face, answered, "Oh... well he looks like a President."

And I realized, that, although I may not agree with everything Barak Obama did or does, he is changing forever what a president looks like to a new generation of kids, and that is pretty great.

Growing Up Too Fast

When Ace, my four year old, woke me up this morning (and I thought, once again, how nice it would be if I actually got out of bed before my kids) I asked him for a hug.  Usually he is happy to respond, but today he let out an exasperated sigh and said, "Mom, you always want a hug."

I responded, "Of course, I do!"

He sighed again, "I'm not going to keep doing this EVERY time."

I said, "Why not?  I always like to give you a hug."

Ace answered, "It's so embarrassing!" as he reluctantly gave me a hug.

Merry Christmas - Meringue Mischief

Here's our beautiful lemon meringue pie... all ready for Christmas Eve dinner... out of range of little hands
But, not out of range of those little hands... and a spatula!

Oh, well, we just won't show anyone this side... except all of you!

Merry Christmas

Feeling Vulnerable

OK, it's the middle of the night, and I am feeling philosophical. Everyone is asleep, so I am talking to you. Is it a little weird to have an intimate talk with the Internet - or just part of modern life?

Warning – if you are looking for a cheerful post, stop reading now. This is not it.

So, I wrote a poem. That hardly ever happens - in fact, I think this might be a first. I am more of a prose person, in general. I wrote the poem in July of 2009 when Lev was just a little baby. The tomatoes in the poem are supposed to be a metaphor for the vulnerabilities of being a parent. But, if I have to explain that, I guess it's not a very good poem...

The Deer Hour

In July I stand under the trees on the deck

Singing wordless lullabies to my baby’s ear –

So round and warm and almost past wiggling.

The car is in the garage and the dinner dishes drying.

The delicate air whispers of coming fog.

The deer slide by; then serenely stop and stare.

Their soft eyes beg to be invited in.

They munch the last green in the summer dry.

The redwoods darken from olive to charcoal.

Only a few early crickets interrupt my hum.

My baby feels safe and pink on my shoulder;

But, it is the deer hour.

They nuzzle the fence -

Hunting for weaknesses.

For our slowly blushing tomato

It is the hour most

Dangerous.

I love being a parent, but it is scary stuff. It’s like tearing off a piece of yourself and letting it walk independently around this world – and you have no control over it. It makes its own crazy decisions and you don’t get to decide anything, but you feel all the pains times ten. Actually, it’s scarier than that – because it would be easier if it was a piece of yourself – if it was just you getting hurt, it would not be so bad. But, it’s this person you care more about than yourself – who is going to make bad decisions (and good), possibly be hurt by other people, or find out how cruel life can be. How are you supposed to let them do that?

One of my very favorite passages in all of literature (at least that I have read) is in Anna Karenina when Levin becomes a parent. If I was more ambitious I would look it up and quote it here. It’s this incredibly joyful moment, and he loves his child so much. But there is also a new vulnerability in his life – his child’s defenselessness almost overwhelms him.

Nothing horrible has happened to my boys, but the other day I was in the store with ACE when this elderly lady shunned him. She was in a walker and browsing the same aisle on the opposite side. ACE was determined to say “hi” to her and tried for at least 3 minutes to do so. She was equally determined to ignore him. ACE has been lucky enough to be surrounded by loving people, but this woman would not look at him no matter how much he waived at her and repeated “hi” in his most polite voice. Maybe she couldn’t hear him, but I think she was just uncomfortable with him and didn’t want to interact. That is reasonable on the one hand, but ACE just could not understand it. I had a hard time explaining to him why this woman would not acknowledge his friendliness. ACE was a little upset in the moment but quickly moved past this minor incident. But it really got under my skin – not so much because of this single moment, but, it represents all these kinds of incidents, where my sweet little boy is going to have to learn that people are not always nice and that some people are going to be downright mean to him.

All of you with older kids who have already experienced the “joys” of junior high cliques, etc… how do you do it?